Denial Works for Me.

As I lay waiting for sleep last night, thoughts and memories flooding my heart -old tapes playing through my brain; I suddenly realize this was my rude awakening

sleepless

I often say I live very well in the state of denial.  I don’t ask questions I don’t want to hear the answers to;  I don’t pay attention to what anyone might be saying about me;  I don’t poke my nose into the affairs of others and compare my state in life to theirs.  Although it may sound like I’m living an honorable life, the reality is that I take good care to protect myself from any form of emotional pain.

So why in the world would I decide yesterday to be a good time to surf the web to look up people who are no longer active members of my life?  Insanity comes to mind.

I stumbled across the page of someone dear to me only to be jolted by the fact that while it’s years since I last saw this person, the same tape continues to play.  I read a few very untrue statements that made a vague reference to me and it stung hard in my heart.  I don’t see much evolution in this person.  I still see plenty of old pain, lots of new, and a false face of bravery.  Oh yes, it burns.

As I lay waiting for sleep last night, thoughts and memories flooding my heart -old tapes playing through my brain; I suddenly realize this was my rude awakening.  The reason I went outside of my normal behavior yesterday, was most likely because I was supposed to in order to see what I saw.  There is still plenty of unfinished business in my life.  It’s not enough to be complacent and just wait for the right opportunity.  I have to start asking the hard questions.  I have to face a painful situation….because the only way out is through.  I know beyond a doubt this was not really an “accidentally stumbled in” situation.  This was me being led to see something I needed to see.

We all have times in our lives when God isn’t so subtle.  I laugh hard at the memory of myself -years ago- kneeling at the foot of the cross asking God to make me humble.  How stupid of me.  Over twenty seven years later, He’s still teaching me this lesson.  (Be careful what you pray for.)

Although yesterday’s experience was a shock to my heart and a definite “rude awakening”, I’m focused on the “awakening” part.  I liken the shock to that of a defibrillator…bringing me back to the reality of life and the fact that I still have a lot of work to do.

Yet another Blessing in disguise.  Can I get an “Amen!”

From The Angels:

self-acceptance Self-Acceptance: You are important and know that you are called to add value to the world around you.

You have rich treasure inside you that people need. You have more in you than you realize, and you can accomplish more than you ever thought possible.

No matter where you are in life today, you have potential to increase, grow, to be strengthened, and to move forward. God created you for His good purpose and you are His masterpiece!

balance Balance: Restore me to balance in body, mind, and spirit. Remove everything from my consciousness and body that is not in perfect alignment with your loving plan for me.

I give my full permission and cooperation to all healing forces of Divine Love and ask God and the angels to lift all of my burden.

spiritual-growth Spiritual Growth: Integrate spirituality to a higher degree in your daily live! Enjoy the process!

You are seeking a higher connection a renewed connection with the Divine and you wish you could immerse yourself read, study, learn, or meditate take it all in at once. The exhilaration of moving up to a higher level of consciousness is challenging slow down and enjoy the process.

Trust that the same Power that brought you to your spiritual path will also take care of everything for you.

 

Scattered Showers & Thunderstorms.

Wouldn’t it be nice if when in the midst of a struggle, we could stop, hit the rewind button and remember that all things happen for a reason and we are never EVER ill-equipped?

lightning

“Scattered Showers and Thunderstorms.” For some reason it seems appropriate for me to head my page with this little phrase. How often have we ALL heard the weather man announcing this forecast!?

I feel like this is where I am right now in life. LOL. Lately, I’ve been reflecting on things much more than I’ve allowed myself time for over the past several years and it’s wonderful. What’s interesting is that most of my friends are doing the same thing. The revelations that come when we look back on our lives and realize exactly how we’ve come through certain struggles with relative ease, are fantastic. It doesn’t seem that way while we are going through it, but years (or even months) later, it’s almost always evident that we had all the tools we needed, we learned important lessons about ourselves, and it wasn’t as hard as we made it out to be.

Most often I find that the lesson in all of my conquered struggles is that I am stronger than I give myself credit for. My intuition never fails me and usually if I am having trouble in my life it’s because I’m fighting against what I know in my heart to be correct. Isn’t this where ALL of our issues come from?

Wouldn’t it be nice if when in the midst of a struggle, we could stop, hit the rewind button and remember that all things happen for a reason and we are never EVER ill-equipped? Next time you think you are going through something hard, stop and ask yourself what part of the situation is within your control and what part of the situation isn’t. If it’s within your control, do something positive to provide some form of remedy; even if it’s changing your thoughts about it. The part of it that is not within your control gets given to God with lots of advanced gratitude.

Right this very minute I have that familiar pang of something not being quite right pulling at my heart. It’s an issue that is beyond my control, so I’ve given it over to God. In this case, since it’s beyond my control, the only option is to let it go and give it to God knowing that He can and will heal this situation in a magnificent way.

What’s on your plate right now that you can give to God in order to lighten your load? I’m willing to bet there is something. How much lighter can you make your heart by clearing some of the cluttery things that don’t need to be there?

From The Angels:

signs Signs: You have asked for a sign from your angels. Pay close attention to everything going on around you scents, color, objects. Be aware of the messages they are trying to alert you … notice sounds, objects.

You’ve asked for heaven to help you. This card signifies that your angels are trying to get your attention with signs.

They are trying to make contact with you.

harmony Harmony: Strife, confusion and conflict be gone. A difference of opinion has clouded your thoughts.

If you change your focus and look for the common ground of peace, you can bring harmony into your relationships again.

You know that one of the most powerful ways you can fight for your relationships is to be a peacemaker? Beloved child of God, you are a peace-lover at heart. You are bringing unity into your relationships.

Focus and look for the common ground of peace, you can bring harmony into your relationships again, you become an Earth angel. Remember, God and the angels tells us that blessed are the peacemakers. When we dwell together in unity, we honor God and open the door for His hand of blessing in every area of our lives!

divine-timing Divine Timing: Change can be fast, yet keep in mind the importance of patience and Divine timing, developing a trust in the unseen mysteries of spirit working in your life.

The more that you can approach your own shifting with loving kindness, the smoother your road of change will be. On some days it may still feel like a roller coaster ride, yet your self-love can help you to have the necessary steadiness within.

Pay close attention to doors that are open to you. As you continue the journey of rediscovering your Divine nature, angels surround you with their love and blessings.

Today’s Prayer:

Dear Lord,

Enlighten what is dark inside me, most especially my faith and trust in You. Help me to conquer the sometimes irrational fears that creep into daily life. Help me to know that I need not concern myself with how things will work out, but rather that through you all things will work out the way they are intended to.

My job is simply to love others as I would have them love me and to honor You in all that I say and do.

Thank you in advance for all that you do.

Amen.

Baubles & Blessings. Trinkets &Tears.

In a perfect world, life would be fair on all counts, yet, it’s not…

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This is actually a repeat of a blog I did years ago. It could have been written yesterday as things are still the same. I am leaving it here because a lot of you do not know my whole background. Rather than tell the entire long, boring story, this is a little snippet of what I sometimes experience when I visit with the parents on Thursdays.

In getting used to writing regularly again, I’m finding myself ready to talk about more personal things. For a time I held back,  unsure I should be revealing the total truth. Today, I feel like who really cares what anyone thinks, provided I’m speaking my truth and I always do.

I have spoken a little about going to visit my mother and how it’s been a Blessing in my life to reconnect. Today I visited again and we laughed and joked and talked about old times. We talked about my writing my book, (and of course, she has her ideas about what I should write about).

It was a bit hard towards the end of our visit when she accidentally shared with me that she’s all ready given most of my Grandmother’s jewelry and hers too, to my daughter and sister. Although, I am not one who is really interested in material things, it was hard to hear this today, feeling like I’d been passed over as “non-existent”. Still, I tried to be cheerful when she related how my daughter always gets her way; how even though C. doesn’t usually wear jewelry, she’s managed to conquer most of the best pieces. I tried to make a few nice comments, “I’m glad for her. It’s nice that she’s finally wearing nice things…” It was a struggle for me. All my heart could feel was, “Why doesn’t anyone in this family ever think about me?”

I guess my Mom saw me struggling unsuccessfully to be cheerful. I had a smile on my face but I was wishing I could run out of there to bawl my eyes out. It’s not about the “stuff” for me at all. It’s about being forever treated like I am not a true member of the family. It’s about being consistently last.

My Grandparents were the most special people in the world to me. I was actually the closest one to both of them, but Mom either doesn’t remember this or she’s chosen not to care. It is devastating to me at times, but I always put on a brave face.

I could see in my Mom’s expression that she was kicking herself for having said what she did. She didn’t intend to hurt me and I know she felt an immediate need to make up for it. So she forced me into the room where the jewelry safe has always been and she wouldn’t look at me, knowing I had tears streaming down my face. She forced me to stand there while she opened it, trying to attempt to save my feelings, saying, “there isn’t much left, but you can pick too”.

I don’t fault her for anything yet, it really hurts to know that I wasn’t even thought of when this distribution took place. I guess she she did what she thought best. I WAS gone for three years, after all.

Still it hurts. In a perfect world, she’d have given what she wanted to and saved the balance for us to share equally. This is what she did when my Grandmother died and she was left everything. She said she could not possibly be at peace knowing she had a brother and sister who loved their mother as much as she did…and keep the things to herself. So she waited until my Grandfather died and then they drew straws and picked fairly.

There were things she didn’t get but I remember her telling me she was at peace because she “did the right thing”. I cannot help but wonder why she hasn’t used the same measure of balance for her own children and Grandchild.

It’s hard for me because I was the closest to my Grandparents. It’s hard for me because yesterday, I felt humiliated-like an after thought-when she forced me into the room to pick something. She forced two rings on me, which I am grateful for because they turned out to be things that have sentimental value for me; but by and large, I just wanted to run out of there.

This is a pattern in my family. Negative attention has always been fed and rewarded and that’s all I will say about that at this time.

I worked with my father for twenty seven years and in the end was left with nothing when he decided he needed the income and he sold our business. In fact, he gave my sister and daughter all of the equipment and furniture from my office. My daughter and sister have been allowed anything and everything they’ve wanted. Now all of this jewelry stuff.

I have a hard time understanding why things in my life have played out the way they have. In my heart, I have an idea, but it sure doesn’t take the pain away.

On the way home, through my tears, I kept hearing, “the meek shall inherit the earth”. I know it sounds crazy but this is what repeated over and over in my brain. I thanked God through my tears and shouted out that while I may not have the mementos, I have had the love and that means MORE.

Years from now I will remember these times with my Mom that are four uninterrupted hours, once per week, of solid visit time where we share openly and honestly. MOST times we giggle and laugh and other times I burst into tears and try to tell her how I feel. It won’t change the behavior, but at least I am able to express myself.

The Blessing in all of this is that she listens. How many people get to speak from the heart like this and have her mother actually HEAR? I don’t know. What I DO know is that this is what I’ve needed my entire life so yes, it’s worth way MORE than jewels and material possessions. I have her ear, her heart and her time and I’m saying things I want to say before she leaves this earth. In a few years, I’ll feel peace. My sister and daughter will still have the baubles, but I’ll have important memories..

It seems my lesson is almost always one of learning to shift one’s perspective in order to see the bright side of life. Believe me, it’s never easy to do, but the result is always a good one.

Count your Blessings. They ARE there.

From The Angels:

listening Listening: It’s easy to get busy in life trying to do everything at once. You can listen and work at the same time but sometimes multi-tasking isn’t the best use of our time. Sometimes we have to stop, look people in the eyes, and give them the gift of listening.

We need to take time to deposit value in their hearts. We need to support one another, and listening is an amazing way of doing just that.

As you go about your day, the angels remind you to give people the gift of listening. It seems like such a little thing, but those little deposits will eventually make a big difference. When you make deposits in people, you are making deposits in eternity, and that is what pleases the heart of God.

image Support: God, the angels, and all who love, protect, and guide you are watching over you right now. When you take time to communicate with God and the angels, they are able to pour out power and strength into our lives.

This card reassures in the multitude of anxious thoughts within you. Divine love comforts you. They will comfort you with the energy of Divine love.

If you ever feel doubtful about your ability to help others, ask the angels to help you release these fears.

truth-intergrity Truth & Integrity: You have the strength to stand strong in the midst of difficult situations, and the wisdom it takes to make good decisions. If something in your life isn’t working, be willing to release it to God and the angels.

Understand you are important, and know that you are called to add value to the world around you. No matter where you are in life today, you have potential to increase, grow, to be strengthened, and to move forward. God created you for His good purpose and you are His masterpiece!

Today’s Prayers

Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. — Romans 5:1-2 (NIV)

 

Dear God:
I Can’t.
YOU Can.
Please Do.
Thank you.
Amen

Hard Words.

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I was up half the night last night wrestling with the hard words in my heart, (which makes the attached excerpt from “Angel Courage” so very appropriate.)

What’s nice is that It reminds me of long ago, when I would sit up at might and speak to Jesus right out loud as if He were sitting in the chair in front of me. I revisited the days when I’d run down to the grotto at church and kneel before the Blessed Mother, asking Her to watch over me and to lead me in the right direction. They carried me through every conceivable situation and I know they’ll carry me through this one too.

Not that I compare myself to Jesus in any way, but in talking to Him last night, I couldn’t help but be reminded that in His lifetime, He was often ridiculed and held up to persecution. He stayed the course and continued to heal and love all the way to the end. It didn’t matter what others were doing and saying, or how hurt He must have been. He continued to love and to live from His heart all the days of His life and then some.

That being said, I do know that at certain times, he got angry and put a stop to things that were absolutely wrong. I guess this is where I am right now.

“And Jesus went into the temple of God, and cast out all them that sold and bought in the temple, and overthrew the tables of the money changers, and the seats of them that sold doves.” Matthew 21:12

I’m grateful that I am not the same person today as I was yesterday or the day before. I’m grateful for the growth I continue to experience and the love that continues to be alive in my heart. I’m grateful that when things get hard, and they always do, I have the utmost faith that God will see me through.

…And when it’s time for hard words, I’m grateful that Jesus and Mary are always there to hold my hands and see me through.

Consistency Is Stifling

An Angel Reminder: “A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds, adored by little statesmen and philosophers and divines. With consistency a great soul has simply nothing to do…Speak what you think today in hard words and tomorrow speak what tomorrow thinks in hard words again, though it contradict everything you said today.” Ralph Waldo Emerson.

Are you ever worried that if you don’t appear to be the same person today–with the same beliefs, desires, and thoughts as you were yesterday–that you are somehow being untrue? Have you ever realized that you are not the same person as you were yesterday and that this is okay? It may not be okay with the people around you, though. If you change your thoughts or desires, they may remind you, “But yesterday you said…” Yes and that was yesterday. We often think that in order to be committed we have to feel the same about the commitment every day. A real commitment is based on something deeper: Love. Love is not what we say; it is what we do and how we behave.

The angels remind us that we can love and change at the same time. The angels don’t want us to be tortured with hobgoblins and small minds.

An Angelic Reflection: I will speak for today and love forever.

(Angel Courage: Terry Lynn Taylor & Mary Beth Crain. ©1999, Harper Collins San Francisco)

From The Angels:

image Body Care: Your powerful angels work to heal the challenges that life presents and help balance your body, establish healthy habits, release any worries, protect you in your travels, and arrange happy encounters.

By removing unhealthy psychic toxins, this allows you to receive intuitive insights. This is an important aspect of connecting with a higher power.

When you are overwhelmed, take shallow breaths. It is during those times when deep breathing exercises can help you re-focus, breathe peace into the situation, and release old patterns or negative energy that no longer serve your purpose. If you feel tense, go outdoors for some fresh air, and ask your angels to help center your breath and oxygenate your mind, body, heart, and soul.

image Meditation: When we meditate, we begin to feel the touch of our spirit we sense our vibration increasing in an internal, eternal, melding of self with our soul. Meditation is very important you are encouraged to practicing it often.

A quiet mind hears the voice of the angels more easily. The more you relax your mind, the easier it is for you to hear the answer.

Open our heart and mind, this abundant love has no boundaries.

image New Love: You have new love in your life whether it is with a new partner or rekindled love.

Let the light in open your heart to a new infusion of Divine love.

Trust in God and your guardian angels this will be an exciting time in your life. Embrace the changes flow with the current of love everything will work out.

~~~
Today’s Prayers:

Our Father which art in heaven,
Hallowed be thy name.
Thy kingdom come.
Thy will be done in earth,
as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread.
And forgive us our trespasses,
as we forgive those
who trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil:
For thine is the kingdom,
and the power, and the glory,
forever and ever.
Amen.

~~~

Thank you for the world so sweet,
Thank you for the food we eat.
Thank you for the birds that sing,
Thank you God for everything.

Too Much Noise

Nothing outside of what I am hearing and feeling in my own heart can ground me more or make me feel better.

happy-heartI am a person who needs a certain amount of silence in my daily life . I am happiest and most grounded the days I am able to be quiet at home and not have to listen or talk much at all. In fact, I’ve found it’s essential to my well-being. This is because for my entire life I’ve embraced my spiritual/mystical side. Nothing outside of what I’m hearing in my heart can ground me or make me feel better. Outside influences, however, can knock me off track so quickly, I may not even realize why I’m feeling out of sorts.

I just noticed recently that I’m walking around with a weird buzzing in my ears at times. I finally figured out this is because I’ve been inadvertently sleeping with the television on (sound turned off). For me, it doesn’t matter if there is sound or not. The subconscious mind is always listening and in this case, picking up on that electronic buzzing sound. That buzz alone is fully capable of (and has been) throwing me out of balance.

It’s of the utmost importance to find time every single day to turn OFF electronic devices, step away from the computer, take the ear buds OUT and listen to the rejuvenating silence of the heart.

Sounds simple enough, doesn’t it? Take some stock of how much time you are spending connected to any form of outside noise, then compare it to how much time you actually spend disconnected from electronic devices. If it’s disproportionate (and I suspect it is), you might have an answer as to why you are sometimes upset and feeling disjointed and even depressed, and don’t know why.

From the Angels:

image Serenity:  You are free from stress and your disposition is of greater inner peace and tranquility..

Even if your unable to resolve a current task at hand, your peace of mind and faith will allow you to trust that the angels and God will take care of you. If something in your life isn’t working, be willing to release it to God and the angels.

The angels reassure you that tranquility and refreshed peace of mind is within you. As you work toward serenity, and inner peace your life’s unforeseen problems begin to lessen and disappear.

image Archangel Michael: Rapid change is often unsettling and can be stressful, but only because it seems to be too rapid and therefore threatening. Remember that you have agreed on the higher level to be part of the change, and that the changes are to bring in Light, Love, Joy and Abundance.

Operate from your Heart rather than your head. If there is fear, then it is coming from your head. Stay grounded and open, and be practical. If you are in the flow of Divine Creative energy, then you cannot fail.

Archangel Michael is making his presence known to you. Remember that you are Safe and Protected at all times, and that all is in Divine Order at all times! If you trust Divine Order, and not your old habits, you will be fine! God and the angels will help you stay true to yourself during trying times.

image Healing: The highest purpose of your healer guides is to restore your self-awareness and self-esteem as children of God and help you accept the love and unlimited blessings that God grants you.

Opening your heart and mind to your worthiness is the best healing of all.

 

ARgh Rude People!

Try as I may, I will never understand people who are rude…

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Try as I may, I will never understand people who are rude. I am not talking about people who are accidentally rude or even those who occasionally tell rude jokes. No. I am referring to those humans (we all know one or two of them) who like to publicly correct grammar errors on social media posts; or those who never resist the urge to point out a flaw or a simple mistake. They will tell you when they don’t like your cooking. They will make rude comments about what you are wearing. They’ll interrupt your time with every inane detail of what’s going on in their lives, but will walk away the instant you begin to talk about yours. I’m talking about the people who seem to get some form of lift by saying things that most people might think, but wouldn’t dare to say.

I knew a lady who wanted to come and visit with me at work. She called to say she wanted to get to know me better and she would love to have a meeting with me. She wanted to bring me breakfast in exchange for my time. Fine. What she didn’t know is that I have gifts that allow me to see right to the core of a person. I knew before I hung up the phone what her motives were, but I wasn’t in a position to decline the meeting.

The day came and she arrived with breakfast in tow, but only for me. She said she’d all ready eaten, but insisted I sit and eat in front of her. Then she sat across from me feigning politeness and putting on extreme airs. I knew she was seeking gossip and I refused to play her game. I don’t like gossip. I don’t like wasting time. I especially do not like fake small talk. I sat across from her and listened courteously for over an hour. When she questioned me about things I did not want to answer, I politely redirected the conversation. When it became apparent that she wasn’t going to gain any gossip from me, she ended our meeting.

I will never forget the moment when she stood up to leave. I thanked her for the lovely breakfast and for allowing me to get to know her better.

She said to me, “I probably shouldn’t say this. But can I tell you something? Promise you won’t get mad?”

I knew she was about to say something rude and potentially demeaning, but I assured her she was welcome to say whatever she wanted to me.

“You need to stop misplacing your pronouns. You are too smart for that.”, she said.

I was dumbfounded. I am certain I just stood there with a blank look on my face. She responded by going into great detail about how I used the phrase, “Charlie and I” instead of “Charlie and me” and how it made me sound uneducated.

Uneducated? Really? Thirteen years of college, two degrees and three minors hardly spell, “uneducated” to me.

No. What she intended to do with that little piece of “advice” was to demean me because she had been unsuccessful in her attempt at gaining my confidence. She didn’t like that I maintained my grace and dignity during our conversation, so she took a jab at me. I smiled right through it, too.

What’s sad is that this meeting happened five years ago when I was new on the job. This lady is now deceased and even though I ended up really liking and respecting her, when her name comes up the first thing I think of is this story.

I wonder how she would feel about this now?

I guess I should have started out by saying that in actuality, I do understand rude people. I just do not like them. There is a saying, “hurting people hurt people” and it is so true. I believe chronically rude people have a huge issue with insecurity. Somehow rudeness elevates the offender’s ego. It’s sad really.

The moral of this story for me is to remain very aware of my own behavior. When I encounter rudeness, I put the shields up and refuse to be anything but kind. (Rude people become disarmed when no reaction is given.) I remember my encounter with this woman and remind myself that when I am gone from this world, I want to be remembered in a positive light. Shouldn’t we all?

From The Angels:

blessings Blessings: As you continue the journey of rediscovering your Divine nature, we surround you with our love and blessings.

Your success will come from facing your challenges when they arise and discovering new paradigm solutions. You will have opportunities to pinpoint and resolve many longstanding issues during this cycle. The key here is staying in the present and addressing what is there, when it is in front of you. This means avoiding the temptation to procrastinate. It means developing more self-trust and more in-the-moment connection with your inner wisdom.

listening Listening: It’s easy to get busy in life trying to do everything at once. You can listen and work at the same time but sometimes multi-tasking isn’t the best use of our time. Sometimes we have to stop, look people in the eyes, and give them the gift of listening.

We need to take time to deposit value in their hearts. We need to support one another, and listening is an amazing way of doing just that.

As you go about your day, the angels remind you to give people the gift of listening. It seems like such a little thing, but those little deposits will eventually make a big difference. When you make deposits in people, you are making deposits in eternity, and that is what pleases the heart of God.

power Power:   The power of your Creator is within you. It doesn’t matter if you’re facing a situation that seems larger than life or something that is a small hurdle the angels and God want to help you overcome it all!

The key to finding resolve in so many of life’s circumstances is to stay in the right frame of mind. You have the power of your Creator within you, all of the His greatness brings into focus who He is; faithful, righteous, good, honest and it diminishes the negative problems you are facing.

You have all the power of Divine love it is unlimited allow yourself shine. He is the one who with just his voice spoke the world and universe and cosmos into being, yet he is interested in the smallest and most intimate details of your life.

Blessed are they who give
without expecting even thanks in return,
for they shall be abundantly rewarded.

Blessed are they who translate
every good thing they know into action,
for ever higher truths shall be revealed unto them.

Blessed are they who do God’s will
without asking to see results,
for great shall be their recompense.

Blessed are they who love and trust their fellow beings,
for they shall reach the good in people and
receive a loving response.

Blessed are they who have seen reality, for they know
that not the garment of clay but that which activates
the garment of clay is real and indestructible.

Blessed are they who see the change we call death
as a liberation from the limitation of this earth-life,
for they shall rejoice with their loved ones
who make the glorious transition.

Blessed are they who after dedicating their lives
and thereby receiving a blessing, have the courage and faith
to surmount the difficulties of the path ahead,
for they shall receive a second blessing.

Blessed are they who advance toward the spiritual path
without the selfish motive of seeking inner peace,
for they shall find it.

Blessed are they who instead of trying to
batter down the gates of the kingdom of heaven
approach them humbly and lovingly and purified,
for they shall pass right through.

~Mildred Norman

Dear Lord:

Remind me of anyone I need to forgive today, and then please help me to obey you in this.

Amen

Musing From An Empath

Don’t worry it’s going to be OK. It’s all right little one, you’re safe and loved.
It’s OK to cry, it’s OK to be afraid, it’s OK to be weak,
it’s OK to be vulnerable, it’s OK to be human.

darkcloud

I woke up feeling melancholy this morning and haven’t a clue why. Everything is going well in my life (if I don’t count my recent 2 week cleanse failure and I’m not counting it!). I had a glorious weekend. I have a job I love. I have a gaggle of really good friends. I have a handsome husband who loves me and treats me like a Queen. I have two dogs that are adorable who make me laugh every single day. I made a beautiful meal last night and I slept very well.

Still, I feel myself trying to slip into sadness. (Oh world, why must you be so much with me all of the time?) As an empath, I often pick up the shrapnel of other’s feelings and emotions. Sometimes I even feel what family members and close friends are feeling when there are miles between us. I don’t mind it really, but it sucks when it seems to descend from nowhere.

When it happens, it’s usually just a matter of stopping to ask God to send help by way of the angels to either cleanse my spirit or point me in the direction of healing. Having done that a little while ago, it’s no surprise to me that while digging through old papers, I found the following. It isn’t signed and there is no author credited, so I have no idea if I wrote it or it was something that spoke to me long ago. At any rate, it speaks to me right now and I’m sure if it’s meant to, it will speak to you as well.

“Don’t worry it’s going to be OK.

It’s all right little one, you’re safe and loved.

It’s OK to cry, it’s OK to be afraid, it’s OK to be weak,

it’s OK to be vulnerable, it’s OK to be human.

It’s from all these elements that we grow,

and it’s from all these elements that I am born out of you.

I Love You.

You’re not alone.

So long as you reach out to others you’re never alone.

Ask for my help in loaning you the courage you already have.

It’s not that I never give you more than you can handle,

I am not responsible for the consequences of your actions,

only you are.

Stay on the path if you’re suffering

by taking the steps you need to take.

Hang on and hang in there, because it’s now

that you’re growing at light speed,

You’re never going backward only forward.

Decay your loneliness, by making full use

of my greatest gift to mankind, which is mankind.

Feel my alleged absence, as proof,

for the paradox that I exist and have always existed.

Let me in by letting me out.

Love fear and all of the other feelings spored

are what create this reality.

These are the cause and effect of compassion and true forgiveness.

Ask for my help in walking through the anguish of forgiveness.

Do everything in your power to learn to forgive

and love those that hurt you,

Not for just them, but for others as well as yourself.

And never give up the hope that some day your ex-suffering

will be able to help the ones who were sick and hurt you,

As well as those who suffered like you.

Learn all this by practicing to love everyone.

Always look into yourself first;

you’re past, your present, your motives,

you’re feelings, and share the secrets

you find with myself as well as others.

Be gentle and kind to yourself

by being vulnerable, and sharing yourself

with others who are patient, kind and who can only

try to love and accept you as much as I do.

As you get better at this,

take the risks that will enable you to venture out

further and further, so that your true self

may finally be exposed to the real world

I created for you to live in.

Be honest with everyone by never

accepting the blame that is not yours.

Free yourself with the truth, by telling

those stepping on your toes how you feel,

no matter how difficult it may seem at first, or

what it’s consequences may be

you’ll only get better at it.

If you can learn to love/forgive,

fully listen, understand and accept those around you,

you will eventually begin to learn how to love/forgive,

fully listen, understand and accept yourself.”

 

From the Angels:

harmony Harmony:  Strife, confusion and conflict be gone. A difference of opinion has clouded your thoughts.

If you change your focus and look for the common ground of peace, you can bring harmony into your relationships again.

You know that one of the most powerful ways you can fight for your relationships is to be a peacemaker? Beloved child of God, you are a peace-lover at heart. You are bringing unity into your relationships.

Focus and look for the common ground of peace, you can bring harmony into your relationships again, you become an Earth angel. Remember, God and the angels tells us that blessed are the peacemakers. When we dwell together in unity, we honor God and open the door for His hand of blessing in every area of our lives!

balance Balance:  Restore me to balance in body, mind, and spirit. Remove everything from my consciousness and body that is not in perfect alignment with your loving plan for me.

I give my full permission and cooperation to all healing forces of Divine Love and ask God and the angels to lift all of my burden.

signs Signs: You have asked for a sign from your angels. Pay close attention to everything going on around you scents, color, objects. Be aware of the messages they are trying to alert you … notice sounds, objects.

You’ve asked for heaven to help you. This card signifies that your angels are trying to get your attention with signs.

They are trying to make contact with you.

Choices Choices

choices

It takes quite a bit to discourage my usually sunny disposition but yesterday was “one of those” days.  I had occasion to be in the same space with someone who isn’t normally there.  At first I giggled about her negativity, telling myself, “It’s just her age”, but after about an hour of consistent complaints about the work she was left to do, negative talk about a friend of mine, and even an insult about a photo of me that was published in an upcoming paper, I retreated to my room in defeat.

I didn’t take her comments to heart so much as they just zapped my energy.

What she didn’t know was that I all ready had some very heavy things weighing on my heart. If I were any one else, her attitude might have descended into me and ruined my entire day.  Instead, I decided to block it out and say a prayer for her instead.

In the afternoon, I stopped on the way home to cash a check and pick up some groceries for the weekend.  I went to my favorite cashier and noticed immediately that she wasn’t her usual, gregarious self.  I smiled at her, asked her how she was and she immediately started telling me about some of her issues. Seems her boyfriend had broken up with her and she was feeling lonely. She mentioned Charlie and I and what a solid and fun couple we seem to be.  I thanked her,  encouraged her not to give up hope, we finished our transaction and I started to leave.

When I got to the door I remembered the woman I’d began my day with and how her attitude affected me so negatively.  I turned around and said to her, “You know, you are our favorite person in this store.  You do the best job and you always make us smile and I see that you do this for every single person.  This store has a real asset in you!”  She lit up like a Christmas tree and thanked me profusely.

We said a few more words and for NO apparent reason I asked her if she knew a friend of mine.  Her eyes grew wide and she flew over to me and hugged me exclaiming that the person I’d mentioned used to be her very best friend in the world.  We stood there talking a bit more and I promised to go right home and send a message to her to tell her about our exchange.

As I made my way out of the store, I felt giddy about having changed the way her day was going and though I was still carrying a problem in my heart, it didn’t feel as heavy.  That sweet lady was so happy when I left her and so was I.

Important lesson for me to remember:  I have a choice about how I react to others.  It took no greater effort for me to say a few kinds words than it would have for me to have kept my mouth shut.  I chose to leave her with positive energy over leaving her with nothing or worse:  the negativity I began the day with.

 

yellowsprite2

Long ago when I used to write another blog, I would always end it with messages from the angels. I’ve decided to start listening to my angels more fervently because they always help to put me right on the correct path and I need that right now. Whenever I do a card reading for myself, I always ask that it be meaningful for others as well. So, if you find meaning in anything below, know that it was meant for you to find here.

From The Angels:

 

truth-intergrity Truth & Integrity: You have the strength to stand strong in the midst of difficult situations, and the wisdom it takes to make good decisions. If something in your life isn’t working, be willing to release it to God and the angels.

Understand you are important, and know that you are called to add value to the world around you. No matter where you are in life today, you have potential to increase, grow, to be strengthened, and to move forward. God created you for His good purpose and you are His masterpiece!

listening Listening:  It’s easy to get busy in life trying to do everything at once. You can listen and work at the same time but sometimes multi-tasking isn’t the best use of our time. Sometimes we have to stop, look people in the eyes, and give them the gift of listening.

We need to take time to deposit value in their hearts. We need to support one another, and listening is an amazing way of doing just that.

As you go about your day, the angels remind you to give people the gift of listening. It seems like such a little thing, but those little deposits will eventually make a big difference. When you make deposits in people, you are making deposits in eternity, and that is what pleases the heart of God.

healing Healing:  The highest purpose of your healer guides is to restore your self-awareness and self-esteem as children of God and help you accept the love and unlimited blessings that God grants you.

Opening your heart and mind to your worthiness is the best healing of all.

(The cards I used today: © Doreen Virtue, Healing with the Angels)

Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.  Colossians 3:23-24

 

Embracing the Light

“Don’t lose your light.”  “Don’t give up your light”.

I’m not quite sure what the exact words were but I definitely dreamed of my Grandmother last night.  She was lying in a hospital bed and I was curled up next to her looking into her eyes.  She kept talking to me about “the light” and having me promise her that I would carry mine.  I felt giggly and happy even though I knew she was on her death bed.  I promised her I would abide by her wishes.

In life she’s been gone now for thirty six years.  It’s always struck me as odd that she is the one and only close relative of mine (in spirit) who has not visited me.  I think in light of all that has been happening in my life, last night may have been a real visit.  It doesn’t really matter because the message has stuck with me and that was the point.

After I had that dream, Charlie got up as he usually does, around two in the morning, and I laid there thinking.  I pulled one of the dogs close to me and as we curled up together I started to pray right out loud  -something I used to do long ago and just loved.  I prayed for every person I could think of by name, including many of you here and including those I usually forget.  Before I knew it,  I’d been lying there for two solid hours just chattering away, thanking God for my many Blessings, asking Him to take care of my family, to bring happiness and light and above all, healing to everyone.

Like clockwork, the birds began to chirp and I knew it was four am.  I remember saying, “Who tells the birds to wake up?” just as I was drifting back off to sleep.

I had another dream.  I was in a forest cloaked in darkness waiting for the “miracle” to happen.  In my heart, I knew it was coming and I was eager to get to it, but as is always the case in dreamland, I had to go through a lot of nonsensical tasks prior.  And so I did.  (Too many details for this small space.)  Suffice it to say that at the very end, I arrived back in the middle of the rainy, dark forest, tired, but still knowing it was coming.  Charlie kept asking me about “the key” and I kept telling him we didn’t need a real key, we just needed to be still and watch.  Finally, in a scene straight out of a Disney movie, a lady arrived, raised her hands, turned in a circle and the forest transformed into the most beautiful, twinkly, magical place I’d ever seen.  I started dancing and skipping and laughing completely filled with unimaginable joy.

Of course the dream is a metaphor for life.  It reminds me that there isn’t a special key that unlocks the magic….the key is perseverance, the key is a constant connection with God and of course, knowing without seeing (faith), that soon enough, everything transforms from darkness to light.

From The Angels:

spiritual-growth Spiritual Growth:  Integrate spirituality to a higher degree in your daily life! Enjoy the process!

You are seeking a higher connection a renewed connection with the Divine and you wish you could immerse yourself read, study, learn, or meditate take it all in at once. The exhilaration of moving up to a higher level of consciousness is challenging slow down and enjoy the process.

Trust that the same Power that brought you to your spiritual path will also take care of everything for you.

new-love New Love: You have new love in your life whether it is with a new partner or rekindled love.

Let the light in open your heart to a new infusion of Divine love.

Trust in God and your guardian angels this will be an exciting time in your life. Embrace the changes flow with the current of love everything will work out.

trust Trust: You have to be willing to pour in everything you have before you can see Gods increase flowing in your life. Believe in yourself, the angels emphasize the value of self-trust.

The angels encourage you to give God what you have in your hands today, and as you stay faithful to do your part, God will do His part.

When you put action behind your faith and trust God, He will pour wisdom, strength, and creativity into you and help you accomplish the dreams and desires He has placed in your heart. The angels ask you to trust in God and to trust in them, they will help you trust yourself.

Today’s Prayer:

You are the peace of all things calm

You are the place to hide from harm

You are the light that shines in dark

You are the heart’s eternal spark

You are the door that’s open wide

You are the guest who waits inside

You are the stranger at the door

You are the calling of the poor

You are my Lord and with me still

You are my love, keep me from ill

You are the light, the truth, the way

You are my Saviour this very day.

~you are god – celtic oral tradition – 1st millennium

 

In humility is the greatest freedom.

As long as you have to defend the imaginary self

that you think is important, you lose your peace of heart.

As soon as you compare that shadow

with the shadows of other people, you lose all joy,

because you have begun to trade in unrealities

and there is no joy in things that do not exist.

~thomas merton

 

Expect Miracles

There is never a time or place where we are alone, that our efforts are in vain, that we are “supposed” to be suffering. God wants us to flourish, not to merely exist on this planet. I know a lot of people are feeling mired in indecision these days-afraid of making a wrong move.

Handwriting letter with pen

Long ago and far away when I was taking my walk with the Blessed Mother, she taught me that nothing in this world is really within my control. I can only expect that when I make the effort to keep praying and strengthening my faith, God would make Himself known in my life. I was consistently reminded to turn away from anything that put a dividing line between God and myself and that I’d be rewarded for my efforts. I learned to expect miracles in my life. I learned that when I didn’t know the solution to a particular problem, all I needed to do was hand it over to God’s capable hands.

There is never a time or place where we are alone, that our efforts are in vain, that we are “supposed” to be suffering. God wants us to flourish, not to merely exist on this planet. I know a lot of people are feeling mired in indecision these days-afraid of making a wrong move. I suggest that this “indecision” IS the problem and that any move in a new direction is the right one.

One of the things I used to love to do was write letters to God and put them under my pillow. It was my own little ritual. You can make your own.

Don’t start fretting and winging your hands over what to say or how to say it. If you are having trouble in your life and you need help or direction or love or protection or financial help, ASK God.

Dear God:

I’ve drawn a blank this morning. How can I be walking around with a huge lump AND a giant hole in my heart at the exact same time? I’m trying to stick to the path. I’m trying to feel my feelings without allowing them to paralyze my progress. It’s so hard.

I know there is nothing for me to do right now, yet the irrational part of me wants to spring into action to try to find a way to heal the situation. I know I can’t. I know swooping in to save the day isn’t the right thing in this case. It would be a temporary fix for a lifelong issue. Why can’t I get anyone to understand this? Why don’t people understand that quick fixes just don’t work. Presents and money are wonderful things but they are not instruments of healing or teaching mechanisms; they don’t help to set up good habits, time management skills, problem solving, self esteem, worth. I could go on and on.

It hurts to be on the outside, knowing what the real answer is, having to sit on my hands watching the same patterns continue to repeat over and over, knowing that the end result will always be the same. A dear friend has always said, “People like to sit in their sh*t because it’s warm. We cannot help those who do not want our help.”

I can do nothing but trust in your love, your direction, and your devotion.

So today I’ll get up and occupy myself with hard work and service to others and I’ll do it with a smile on my face and a spark of your joy in my heart. It’s still in there. I’ll offer this to you as my sacrifice, that you may shine a concentrated beam of your love, directly on the two in my family who are most in need.

Amen.

Dear Child:

From my vantage point, all is unfolding as it should.

Have you ever been sorry about doing the right thing except for the part where it hurts?

Pour out your soul to me. I hear your cries. I will make you whole and remove the lump.

Do not give up just before the miracle happens! Carry on.

I love you.

God.

image

…”Then Jesus told his disciples a parable to show them that they should always
pray and not give up. He said: “In a certain town there was a judge who neither
feared God nor cared about men. And there was a widow in that town who kept
coming to him with the plea, ‘Grant me justice against my adversary.’

“For some time he refused. But finally he said to himself, ‘Even though I
don’t fear God or care about men, yet because this widow keeps bothering me, I
will see that she gets justice, so that she won’t eventually wear me out with her
coming!’ ”

And the Lord said, “Listen to what the unjust judge says. And will not God
bring about justice for his chosen ones, who cry out to him day and night? Will he
keep putting them off? I tell you, he will see that they get justice, and quickly.

However, when the Son of Man comes, will he find faith on the earth?”…
Luke 18:1-17

Psalm 30:5
Weeping may remain for a night, but rejoicing comes in the morning.