Why Must I Write?

I wrote this post for another website but this morning I found it here, so I decided to share it.

What seems like four hundred years ago; before Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, WordPress or even MySpace existed; before Apple, before Windows, before PC’s, Lap tops and even before word processors; there were yellow pads, composition notebooks and black Bic Pens. These were and still are my favorite tools of expressive writing.

I can remember being a wee tot visiting and being awed by the supply room at my father’s company. All of those shelves just full of colored papers, notebooks, steno pads, yellow pads, packages of pens and pencils, markers and the like! Whenever I was there visiting I was allowed to go into that room and select some paper and pens to work with. I always selected the notebooks and pens and I can still recall being thrilled to sit at a “big person desk” and scratch away as if I were working hard for the company! Looking back, I truly believe those times shaped my love of new pens and notebooks.

In the sixth grade we studied “The Diary of Anne Frank” and it is this book that I credit as being the impetus of my lifelong love affair with writing. I came away from reading that story with the incredible “new-to-me” idea that I could actually sit down and chronicle my thoughts and feelings about life. Anne Frank decided to think of her diary as a friend, so she named it, “Kitty”. Sixth grade Bobbe thought this was a such a cool idea, I named my own diary, “Monet”. (The memory of this makes me burst into laughter. Monet was actually the given name of our standard poodle who we called, “Moe”, because we all thought the name Monet was too pretentious! Somehow I thought, “Monet” would be a good name for my pretend diary friend. (Don’t Worry, it was short-lived.)

As you might imagine, my sixth-grade diary entries consisted of things that I considered to be earth-shattering at the time, “Dear Monet. Today we went to Actors Theater and we watched the play, ‘Anne Frank’. I was so happy because “so-and-so” sat next to me!” ; “Dear Monet, today Sr. Clara yelled at us for no reason at ALL!”, etc.

Aside: I have searched my house high and low, I know that little diary is hidden in some corner because I was just looking at it laughing. I really wanted to photograph it for this blog. I will keep writing and keep searching and hopefully it will show up in time for me to finish this!’ Until then, here are just a few journals that happen to be sitting within arms reach. The little one is from my 7th and 8th grade years. You can’t really see it but there are two more notebooks underneath the open ones. Yes, I have always written on a regular basis.

Anyway, I made it a practice to write in that little book daily. It may not have been great writing, but it shaped me to make a good habit of recording my thoughts and feelings regularly. Looking back through my writings it strikes me just how much I have always written about my relationship with God and all of the gratitude I have for His presence in my life. Very often my little girl entries were entirely about trying to be a better person in order to please Him. Interesting stuff, considering  the fact that other than attending Catholic school and Mass on Sundays, no one in my life was force-feeding me information about God.

As an adult I still find myself drawn to write about my feelings and experiences. Very often, writing is therapy for me, (you may have noticed this if you’ve read any of my prior blog entries), but I have also found through years of blogging on my personal site, that when I share my true life experiences, I am touching others who might be needing a lift or help not feeling alone.

This is really why I write.

I never feel more alive and whole than when I am sharing my heart through my writing. Early in life my little letters to “Monet” gave way to recording the events of each day; who I encountered and how I was feeling about it. That morphed into letters to God, notes to the angels, prayers, and lots of true diary entries that spoke of happiness and excitement but also of depression, confusion and pain. Today as I was leafing through that little journal with the pink writing, I was laughing hysterically, reading aloud to Charlie, some of the incredibly stupid entries. (Occasionally, he would belly-laugh too.) But then I’d come across an unexpected little post about being scared and sad because my parents were downstairs fighting and the memories flood right back. This is another reason I write. It helps me remember where I’ve come from. It reminds me of my strength when I’m not feeling particularly strong, and this is what I want to help others to feel as well.

I can’t remember the occasion for the actual FIRST blog I ever wrote or even what I wrote about, specifically. What I remember, instead, is the flood of thank you emails I received because of it. Somewhere along the line I started incorporating my true life experiences together with how I prayed and learned to cope and the response from total strangers is what compels me to write even to this day. I wasn’t doing anything special. I was just sharing the truth about how hard life sometimes is. What I learned is that there are a gazillion people out there scared to death about what other people might think, so they stay mired in unhappiness and this is why I write. I guess I talk about the things people are scared to talk about, even if it means baring my sometimes ugly past and soul.

I don’t even remember writing that little diary entry up there and that’s a good thing. Seeing it reminds me that all things pass and all things are possible.

And so I continue to write in the hopes my words might find themselves in the heart of the person or persons who most need them. That’s usually what ends up happening.

Life has a way of working out that way.

With love,

Bobbe

Just a quick note

I wanted to link to a blog I recently wrote on another site. I’ve joined a dynamic group of woman to collaborate on a new blog entitled: FemCalibur!  I hope you will check it out!

Here is the link to my first entry. #femcaliburbobbe

I will still be blogging here as well but please do click through and subscribe. This is going to be a fun and content driven blog.

Love to all!

~Bobbe

 

Dry Your Tears

Dry your tears. I know your heart and I hear your cries. Remember that in this life, people will disappoint and hurt you, but only to the degree with which you allow them to. It doesn’t matter what people do to you or what they say about you.

sun

Dear Child:

Dry your tears.  I know your heart and I hear your cries.  Remember that in this life, people will disappoint and hurt you, but only to the degree with which you allow them to.  It doesn’t matter what people do to you or what they say about you. 

What matters is how you serve me.

I expect you to find compassion and prayer for all people, especially those who throw daggers at you.  Remember that they are also my children and in need of your prayers.  Do not stand with an apple on your head for target practice, but do lift yourself up to me, offer your prayers and listen to my guidance. 

I will give you the grace to persevere.

Make no mistake that it is true, whatever you do for the least of your brothers, that you do unto me.

I love you.

God

@2011, BAC


 

From The Angels:

(As always, if these cards speak to you, they are meant for you.)

self-acceptance Self-Acceptance: You are important and know that you are called to add value to the world around you.

You have rich treasure inside you that people need. You have more in you than you realize, and you can accomplish more than you ever thought possible.

No matter where you are in life today, you have potential to increase, grow, to be strengthened, and to move forward. God created you for His good purpose and you are His masterpiece!

spiritual-growth Spiritual Growth:  Integrate spirituality to a higher degree in your daily live! Enjoy the process!

You are seeking a higher connection a renewed connection with the Divine and you wish you could immerse yourself read, study, learn, or meditate take it all in at once. The exhilaration of moving up to a higher level of consciousness is challenging slow down and enjoy the process.

Trust that the same Power that brought you to your spiritual path will also take care of everything for you.

image Archangel Michael: Rapid change is often unsettling and can be stressful, but only because it seems to be too rapid and therefore threatening. Remember that you have agreed on the higher level to be part of the change, and that the changes are to bring in Light, Love, Joy and Abundance.

Operate from your Heart rather than your head. If there is fear, then it is coming from your head. Stay grounded and open, and be practical. If you are in the flow of Divine Creative energy, then you cannot fail.

Archangel Michael is making his presence known to you. Remember that you are Safe and Protected at all times, and that all is in Divine Order at all times! If you trust Divine Order, and not your old habits, you will be fine! God and the angels will help you stay true to yourself during trying times.

divine-timing (Bonus:  Divine Timing:) Change can be fast, yet keep in mind the importance of patience and Divine timing, developing a trust in the unseen mysteries of spirit working in your life.

The more that you can approach your own shifting with loving kindness, the smoother your road of change will be. On some days it may still feel like a roller coaster ride, yet your self-love can help you to have the necessary steadiness within.

Pay close attention to doors that are open to you. As you continue the journey of rediscovering your Divine nature, angels surround you with their love and blessings.


 

Lord, you know that talking and listening are so essential to good communication. Everyone wants to communicate, but sometimes the principle gets mixed up with the person.

Some people just love to talk and some like to listen.

How wonderful it would be to share – during a coffee break, lunch meeting, neighborly visit, after a church service, or between conference sessions – compliments, ideas, wisdom, happiness and all the satisfactions of Christ-living.

Lord, our faults and failings are many. Help us not to add to our sins by ‘talking’, by ‘judging’, by ‘comparing’, by ‘rejoicing in another’s downfall’, by ‘berating’, by ‘whispering’, or by ‘rumor-mongering’.

Please, Lord, lock our lips against talk that plays the game of tag.

‘Gracious words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones’  Proverbs 16:24


 

O my God! Source of all mercy! I acknowledge Your sovereign power. While recalling the wasted years that are past, I believe that You, Lord, can in an instant turn this loss to gain. Miserable as I am, yet I firmly believe that You can do all things. Please restore to me the time lost, giving me Your grace, both now and in the future, that I may appear before You in “wedding garments.” Amen.  (A Prayer to Redeem Lost Time by St. Teresa of Avila)

 

Dearest Lord, teach me to be generous,

teach me to serve you as I should,

to give and not to count the cost,

to fight and not to heed the wounds,

to toil and not to seek for rest,

to labor and ask not for reward,

save that of knowing that I do your most holy will.

jesuit – st. ignatius loyola – 16th century

be-happy

 

Musing From An Empath

Don’t worry it’s going to be OK. It’s all right little one, you’re safe and loved.
It’s OK to cry, it’s OK to be afraid, it’s OK to be weak,
it’s OK to be vulnerable, it’s OK to be human.

darkcloud

I woke up feeling melancholy this morning and haven’t a clue why. Everything is going well in my life (if I don’t count my recent 2 week cleanse failure and I’m not counting it!). I had a glorious weekend. I have a job I love. I have a gaggle of really good friends. I have a handsome husband who loves me and treats me like a Queen. I have two dogs that are adorable who make me laugh every single day. I made a beautiful meal last night and I slept very well.

Still, I feel myself trying to slip into sadness. (Oh world, why must you be so much with me all of the time?) As an empath, I often pick up the shrapnel of other’s feelings and emotions. Sometimes I even feel what family members and close friends are feeling when there are miles between us. I don’t mind it really, but it sucks when it seems to descend from nowhere.

When it happens, it’s usually just a matter of stopping to ask God to send help by way of the angels to either cleanse my spirit or point me in the direction of healing. Having done that a little while ago, it’s no surprise to me that while digging through old papers, I found the following. It isn’t signed and there is no author credited, so I have no idea if I wrote it or it was something that spoke to me long ago. At any rate, it speaks to me right now and I’m sure if it’s meant to, it will speak to you as well.

“Don’t worry it’s going to be OK.

It’s all right little one, you’re safe and loved.

It’s OK to cry, it’s OK to be afraid, it’s OK to be weak,

it’s OK to be vulnerable, it’s OK to be human.

It’s from all these elements that we grow,

and it’s from all these elements that I am born out of you.

I Love You.

You’re not alone.

So long as you reach out to others you’re never alone.

Ask for my help in loaning you the courage you already have.

It’s not that I never give you more than you can handle,

I am not responsible for the consequences of your actions,

only you are.

Stay on the path if you’re suffering

by taking the steps you need to take.

Hang on and hang in there, because it’s now

that you’re growing at light speed,

You’re never going backward only forward.

Decay your loneliness, by making full use

of my greatest gift to mankind, which is mankind.

Feel my alleged absence, as proof,

for the paradox that I exist and have always existed.

Let me in by letting me out.

Love fear and all of the other feelings spored

are what create this reality.

These are the cause and effect of compassion and true forgiveness.

Ask for my help in walking through the anguish of forgiveness.

Do everything in your power to learn to forgive

and love those that hurt you,

Not for just them, but for others as well as yourself.

And never give up the hope that some day your ex-suffering

will be able to help the ones who were sick and hurt you,

As well as those who suffered like you.

Learn all this by practicing to love everyone.

Always look into yourself first;

you’re past, your present, your motives,

you’re feelings, and share the secrets

you find with myself as well as others.

Be gentle and kind to yourself

by being vulnerable, and sharing yourself

with others who are patient, kind and who can only

try to love and accept you as much as I do.

As you get better at this,

take the risks that will enable you to venture out

further and further, so that your true self

may finally be exposed to the real world

I created for you to live in.

Be honest with everyone by never

accepting the blame that is not yours.

Free yourself with the truth, by telling

those stepping on your toes how you feel,

no matter how difficult it may seem at first, or

what it’s consequences may be

you’ll only get better at it.

If you can learn to love/forgive,

fully listen, understand and accept those around you,

you will eventually begin to learn how to love/forgive,

fully listen, understand and accept yourself.”

 

From the Angels:

harmony Harmony:  Strife, confusion and conflict be gone. A difference of opinion has clouded your thoughts.

If you change your focus and look for the common ground of peace, you can bring harmony into your relationships again.

You know that one of the most powerful ways you can fight for your relationships is to be a peacemaker? Beloved child of God, you are a peace-lover at heart. You are bringing unity into your relationships.

Focus and look for the common ground of peace, you can bring harmony into your relationships again, you become an Earth angel. Remember, God and the angels tells us that blessed are the peacemakers. When we dwell together in unity, we honor God and open the door for His hand of blessing in every area of our lives!

balance Balance:  Restore me to balance in body, mind, and spirit. Remove everything from my consciousness and body that is not in perfect alignment with your loving plan for me.

I give my full permission and cooperation to all healing forces of Divine Love and ask God and the angels to lift all of my burden.

signs Signs: You have asked for a sign from your angels. Pay close attention to everything going on around you scents, color, objects. Be aware of the messages they are trying to alert you … notice sounds, objects.

You’ve asked for heaven to help you. This card signifies that your angels are trying to get your attention with signs.

They are trying to make contact with you.