Face Value

 

imageThursday while visiting my parents, I laughed heartily at my father, who has been reading some of my previous blogs. He’s taken a special interest in the one entitled, “Assumptions and Interpretations” and we had a nice talk about what is actually meant by, “not making assumptions” when a person is speaking to you. I was so pleased that it appeared as though he was actually asking me what my true thoughts and feelings are, and he was listening to me, completely present in the conversation.

You must know my father. This was his way of giving me a supreme compliment-demonstrating to me that he was practicing precisely what I’d written about. Of course, I nearly fell on the floor in stitches, when he and my mother got into an argument about what it all meant -each of them cutting the other off mid-sentence. (I have to let them slide just a little bit as they are in their 80’s and I think that gives them a bit of a pass and besides, they weren’t really arguing-just bantering back and forth.)

Dad: “It says right here that you when someone compliments you, you should accept what the person says and not assume the person has ulterior motives! So when I tell you you are beautiful, you should accept that I mean it.”

Mom: “Shut up you Jack Ass, I HAVE a mirror you know. I can still SEE.” LOLOL!!!


How many of us are guilty of assuming we know what another person’s motives are? My goodness, with communication via electronic device at an all-time high, it’s so easy to fall into misinterpreting what someone is saying. (Charlie and I discuss this frequently because admittedly, we’re Facebook junkies.) It’s easy to go to someone’s page and read his/her words and misinterpret what we see. What’s even worse is when we know there are two different ways to take a certain statement and we choose the least attractive one. Rather than ask the author if we are correct, we just make an assumption and go on. I’ve seen so many fights start this way and plenty of perfectly good friendships hit snags because of this behavior.

I think it’s important for all of us to listen to what the angels suggest and ask ourselves WHY we aren’t truly listening. In my own life, I do remember a time in my mid twenties where it must have been so frustrating to try to communicate with me. I can vividly recall being at the office with my father, working on a calculator. He was trying to teach me a computation and he was getting frustrated because I kept trying to anticipate his next words. What happened as a result was that we kept having to start and stop because I would punch in numbers and do computations that were entirely wrong. LOL. I realize now, thirty years later, that I was doing that because I wanted him to know I was smarter than he realized, that I didn’t need to be told, and that I was capable on my own. What I demonstrated instead, was just how insecure and immature I really was.

I laugh because in later years, as fate would have it, I had the challenge of working with an employee who had the exact same bad habits I once had. (The Universe is so funny that way.) Most often we do get the opportunity to meet “ourselves” somewhere along the way. I have been on the receiving end of not being heard. We all have. What helps me to continue making an effort to really listen to people, is remembering what it feels like to be cut off mid-sentence; or to pour out my soul to someone only to have that person look at me in a daze and start an entirely new subject. We have to be so careful these days about how we treat one another and what we are cultivating in our lives. A spirit is a delicate thing.

AFFIRMATION: I am vigilant about how I am treating others, making certain I am careful to cultivate love and respect in all that I do and especially in what I say.


From The Angels:

image Healing: The highest purpose of your healer guides is to restore your self-awareness and self-esteem as children of God and help you accept the love and unlimited blessings that God grants you.

Opening your heart and mind to your worthiness is the best healing of all.

power Power: The power of your Creator is within you. It doesn’t matter if you’re facing a situation that seems larger than life or something that is a small hurdle the angels and God want to help you overcome it all!

The key to finding resolve in so many of life’s circumstances is to stay in the right frame of mind. You have the power of your Creator within you, all of the His greatness brings into focus who He is; faithful, righteous, good, honest and it diminishes the negative problems you are facing.

You have all the power of Divine love it is unlimited allow yourself shine. He is the one who with just his voice spoke the world and universe and cosmos into being, yet he is interested in the smallest and most intimate details of your life.

divine-guidance Divine Guidance: If you could see yourself as spirit sees you, there would be no doubt about the importance of this life. You would understand why it’s so vital that you wake up fully and walk the Earth like the Divine being you truly are. Your angels are inspiring you make your best efforts to create a life worthy of remembering. You know the potency of using your next present moments to masterfully create a new way of being.

Being able to make miracles happen is fundamentally a result of how you choose to align yourself, how you choose to use your mind, and how much faith you have in being able to use it to affect your physical world.

You have teachers, observers, and divine guidance available at any time. This world is your arena for growth and learning with the specific purpose of serving and evolving into higher levels of love. There is a higher power working in the universe beyond mere cause and effect. Pay close attention God and the angels are trying to speak to you.


I thank Christ our Lord, who has given me strength, that he considered me faithful, appointing me to his service.
— 1 Timothy 1:12 (NIV)


Today’s Prayers:

Lord, I believe:
I wish to believe in Thee.
Lord, let my faith be full and unreserved,
and let it penetrate my thought,
my way of judging Divine things and human things.
Lord, let my faith be joyful
and give peace and gladness to my spirit,
and dispose it for prayer with God
and conversation with men,
so that the inner bliss of its fortunate possession
may shine forth in sacred and secular conversation.
Lord, let my faith be humble and not presume
to be based on the experience of my thought and of my
feeling;
but let it surrender to the testimony of the Holy Spirit,
and not have any better guarantee than in docility to
Tradition
and to the authority of the magisterium of the Holy Church.

Amen.

 

ARgh Rude People!

Try as I may, I will never understand people who are rude…

14716123_10157514624570573_8809954276123705183_n

Try as I may, I will never understand people who are rude. I am not talking about people who are accidentally rude or even those who occasionally tell rude jokes. No. I am referring to those humans (we all know one or two of them) who like to publicly correct grammar errors on social media posts; or those who never resist the urge to point out a flaw or a simple mistake. They will tell you when they don’t like your cooking. They will make rude comments about what you are wearing. They’ll interrupt your time with every inane detail of what’s going on in their lives, but will walk away the instant you begin to talk about yours. I’m talking about the people who seem to get some form of lift by saying things that most people might think, but wouldn’t dare to say.

I knew a lady who wanted to come and visit with me at work. She called to say she wanted to get to know me better and she would love to have a meeting with me. She wanted to bring me breakfast in exchange for my time. Fine. What she didn’t know is that I have gifts that allow me to see right to the core of a person. I knew before I hung up the phone what her motives were, but I wasn’t in a position to decline the meeting.

The day came and she arrived with breakfast in tow, but only for me. She said she’d all ready eaten, but insisted I sit and eat in front of her. Then she sat across from me feigning politeness and putting on extreme airs. I knew she was seeking gossip and I refused to play her game. I don’t like gossip. I don’t like wasting time. I especially do not like fake small talk. I sat across from her and listened courteously for over an hour. When she questioned me about things I did not want to answer, I politely redirected the conversation. When it became apparent that she wasn’t going to gain any gossip from me, she ended our meeting.

I will never forget the moment when she stood up to leave. I thanked her for the lovely breakfast and for allowing me to get to know her better.

She said to me, “I probably shouldn’t say this. But can I tell you something? Promise you won’t get mad?”

I knew she was about to say something rude and potentially demeaning, but I assured her she was welcome to say whatever she wanted to me.

“You need to stop misplacing your pronouns. You are too smart for that.”, she said.

I was dumbfounded. I am certain I just stood there with a blank look on my face. She responded by going into great detail about how I used the phrase, “Charlie and I” instead of “Charlie and me” and how it made me sound uneducated.

Uneducated? Really? Thirteen years of college, two degrees and three minors hardly spell, “uneducated” to me.

No. What she intended to do with that little piece of “advice” was to demean me because she had been unsuccessful in her attempt at gaining my confidence. She didn’t like that I maintained my grace and dignity during our conversation, so she took a jab at me. I smiled right through it, too.

What’s sad is that this meeting happened five years ago when I was new on the job. This lady is now deceased and even though I ended up really liking and respecting her, when her name comes up the first thing I think of is this story.

I wonder how she would feel about this now?

I guess I should have started out by saying that in actuality, I do understand rude people. I just do not like them. There is a saying, “hurting people hurt people” and it is so true. I believe chronically rude people have a huge issue with insecurity. Somehow rudeness elevates the offender’s ego. It’s sad really.

The moral of this story for me is to remain very aware of my own behavior. When I encounter rudeness, I put the shields up and refuse to be anything but kind. (Rude people become disarmed when no reaction is given.) I remember my encounter with this woman and remind myself that when I am gone from this world, I want to be remembered in a positive light. Shouldn’t we all?

From The Angels:

blessings Blessings: As you continue the journey of rediscovering your Divine nature, we surround you with our love and blessings.

Your success will come from facing your challenges when they arise and discovering new paradigm solutions. You will have opportunities to pinpoint and resolve many longstanding issues during this cycle. The key here is staying in the present and addressing what is there, when it is in front of you. This means avoiding the temptation to procrastinate. It means developing more self-trust and more in-the-moment connection with your inner wisdom.

listening Listening: It’s easy to get busy in life trying to do everything at once. You can listen and work at the same time but sometimes multi-tasking isn’t the best use of our time. Sometimes we have to stop, look people in the eyes, and give them the gift of listening.

We need to take time to deposit value in their hearts. We need to support one another, and listening is an amazing way of doing just that.

As you go about your day, the angels remind you to give people the gift of listening. It seems like such a little thing, but those little deposits will eventually make a big difference. When you make deposits in people, you are making deposits in eternity, and that is what pleases the heart of God.

power Power:   The power of your Creator is within you. It doesn’t matter if you’re facing a situation that seems larger than life or something that is a small hurdle the angels and God want to help you overcome it all!

The key to finding resolve in so many of life’s circumstances is to stay in the right frame of mind. You have the power of your Creator within you, all of the His greatness brings into focus who He is; faithful, righteous, good, honest and it diminishes the negative problems you are facing.

You have all the power of Divine love it is unlimited allow yourself shine. He is the one who with just his voice spoke the world and universe and cosmos into being, yet he is interested in the smallest and most intimate details of your life.


Blessed are they who give
without expecting even thanks in return,
for they shall be abundantly rewarded.

Blessed are they who translate
every good thing they know into action,
for ever higher truths shall be revealed unto them.

Blessed are they who do God’s will
without asking to see results,
for great shall be their recompense.

Blessed are they who love and trust their fellow beings,
for they shall reach the good in people and
receive a loving response.

Blessed are they who have seen reality, for they know
that not the garment of clay but that which activates
the garment of clay is real and indestructible.

Blessed are they who see the change we call death
as a liberation from the limitation of this earth-life,
for they shall rejoice with their loved ones
who make the glorious transition.

Blessed are they who after dedicating their lives
and thereby receiving a blessing, have the courage and faith
to surmount the difficulties of the path ahead,
for they shall receive a second blessing.

Blessed are they who advance toward the spiritual path
without the selfish motive of seeking inner peace,
for they shall find it.

Blessed are they who instead of trying to
batter down the gates of the kingdom of heaven
approach them humbly and lovingly and purified,
for they shall pass right through.

~Mildred Norman


Dear Lord:

Remind me of anyone I need to forgive today, and then please help me to obey you in this.

Amen

Is this my life?

What I know beyond a doubt is the surest way to add more pain to your life is to assume you know it all and to not question the reality of your assumptions. Open, honest and clear communication is the secret ingredient in all effective, loving relationships.

image

Remember when I promised to reveal why Thursday’s are often very hard for me?

I’ve been spending quite a bit of time with my 84 year old mother over the past months.  It comes as a welcome opportunity to really explore the past, to ask questions about why certain things happened the way they did and to share funny quips and stories. These days, even when I may not feel like going over there to sit and talk for three or four hours, I go any way, because I know for a fact, that the days are running out.  I have to take my opportunities where they come.

Once upon a time, I shared everything with my Mom.  We were the closest of any of the relatives in my immediate family…and then somehow things turned upside down.   I still struggle to figure out what changed so much that I ended up estranged from her for over three years.  I’m grateful the lines of communications have been opened again for many years, yet sad that some things are never going to change and are outside of my control.

A while ago on a Thursday, we had a tough few hours talking about events of the past.  I was floored when out of nowhere she dredged up one of her perceptions of an event I have absolutely NO recollection of.  (I’m not even sure it really happened.)  The saddest part of all is that this is something she’s held over me for more than thirty years, (I was a senior in high school according to her)….yet she never bothered to talk to me about it.  I’ve spent countless hours and thousands of gallons of tears trying to understand what I ever did to deserve the treatment I’ve received.  Now it comes out and it turns out to be something that I cannot even remember and even if I did; this is NOT something you lay at the feet of your daughter….ever.

I wish I could be more forthcoming with the details of what was actually said, but at this point I cannot.  What I can share, however, is how important it is to never EVER to make assumptions. We lost thirty or more years of a good relationship because she made something up in her mind and then told herself it was true. She never once spoke to me about it. Reflecting back, I see this is a pattern of many years with her.

This morning I’m still struggling trying to make sense of this life I’ve lived.  Friends tell me I should write a novel (or two or three) based on my life experiences…if I could make sense of most of it, I might.

What I know beyond a doubt is the surest way to add more pain to your life is to assume you know it all and to not question the reality of your assumptions.  Open, honest and clear communication is the secret ingredient in all effective, loving relationships.

Despite the pain I might have today as a result of knowing what I now do, I am still grateful for these times with my mother.  I am grateful there is still time to heal the past.  I am grateful God has given me the tools I need to process this silly life and grateful I’m able to be open enough to share my feelings.

image

Prayer for today:

Show me the suffering of the most miserable;

So I will know my people’s plight.

Free me to pray for others;

For you are present in every person.

Help me take responsibility for my own life;

So that I can be free at last.

Grant me courage to serve others;

For in service there is true life.

Give me honesty and patience;

So that the Spirit will be alive among us.

Let the Spirit flourish and grow;

So that we will never tire of the struggle.

Let us remember those who have died for justice;

For they have given us life.

Help us love even those who hate us;

So we can change the world.

Amen.

-César E. Chávez

When Dreams Speak.

For so long I’ve hidden away from my writing thinking that because I was going through a life change so horrible, I couldn’t be of any inspiration to anyone. I held myself to a silly standard that said that if I couldn’t be a bright shining star, I had nothing to offer.

Where dreams come from

One night I had an experience that jolted me upright in bed.  I have always had incredible dreams, but this wasn’t so much a dream, as it was just a quick experience that came from seemingly nowhere.  Hard to explain and even harder to say out loud because it was so different from anything I’ve ever experienced in dreamland.  For a split second, I was with Jesus on the cross and was looking at his feet, which had become mine, and poof, the first nail was driven in.  The experience was so horrific, I jolted upright in bed and scared the living daylights out of Charlie.  I didn’t say what had happened, but I laid there for a long time trying to make sense of it.

The symbols in our dreams are often conjured up by the subconscious to be so powerful that we don’t forget them in the daylight because there is some lesson there to be contemplated and understood.

I think for me, this is a reminder that nothing of any value or goodness in this life ever comes without sacrifice, hardship and just plain hard work and of course, that one must persevere at all cost.

For so long I’ve hidden away from my writing thinking that because I was going through a life change so horrible, I couldn’t be of any inspiration to anyone.  I held myself to a silly standard that said that if I couldn’t be a bright shining star, I had nothing to offer.  I let my brain take over and broke my cardinal rule which says that the heart should always lead, no matter what.  The brain will always point out failures and mistakes, misjudgments, misgivings, lamentations…all the stuff the that squelches the spirit.  Conversely the heart, which lives in a state of total honesty and love, in constant union with God, will keep that tiny flame of hope alive beyond all things of this world.

Sometimes the most important life teachings come in the form of periods of darkness, where one has to dig deep to come out the other side, where one has to cultivate courage, in order to persevere even in the face of possible failure.

A dear friend of mine has been here all along repeating to me what I’ve always told others…”ask yourself what lesson the Universe is trying to teach you through all this pain.”

So I asked.

This is what the angels had to say:

“Underneath the shield of physicality, is a place where the deepest love resides.  It cannot be extinguished for this is the spark that connects all to the Divine. Remove the illusions of self-doubt and fear. These are restrictions you’ve placed on yourself, dear child. The time is now to step boldly forth. Bless the darkness, thank it for its lessons, and know that all is well.   Point your heart in the direction of the all-encompassing love of the Father, strengthen your connection to the Divine. Today, life begins anew.”

And yes. They are correct and I have heeded their advice. ❤

hearts